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    Diagnosis: COVID-19 fatigue

    I am an introvert.  I love spending time alone, it is how I recharge.  But even as an introvert, I am growing weary.  Traveling is my solace and one of my coping mechanisms.  I need the beach.  I need to be beside blue water but while people are still traveling and as my mom would say “spreading joy” I have not brought myself to that place.  I want to travel without restrictions.  I don’t want to stay on the resort.  I don’t want to leave the restaurant by 8pm because of a curfew.  I want to be free!

    Trust me, I am not one of those cabin fever people.  I don’t get cabin fever.  How could I not love staying in the house that I pay for only a few days while the snow purifies the air?  However, this is taking cabin fever to an all new level.  I’m weary of this indoor life.  I’m tired of going out and feeling like the first cough I hear could be from a person infected with the virus.  I am tired of telling my child she can’t visit her friends or go to birthday parties because the truth is…mommy can’t lose her.  So I came up with a term for what I’m feeling.  I call it COVID fatigue (I didn’t really create this term but go with me).

    Being tired is one thing but being fatigued…that’s a different beast. When you are fatigued your muscles ache, your reflexes are slowed, you experience brain fog, you’re chronically tired and you can become moody.  These are just a few symptoms of fatigue but those are enough to make you want a cure, and fast.  2020 has been quite the year.  When the semi-lockdown first started I knew it was going to be a while before a treatment was developed.  I was prepared to stay inside for a few months if it meant that summer would be mine for the taking.  Never did I imagine that we would be less than 45 days from the end of the year and re-entering semi-lockdown.  I was certain that Pooh and I would travel for Christmas.  I was sure that I would be able to get together with friends and family for our annual celebrations.  Instead we are bracing ourselves for holidays apart from loved ones, at least 3 more months of virtual school, and lots of Netflix watching.

    2020 is out here throwing a temper tantrum and knocking everything off the table.  Yesterday I found myself saying, “yo, this is a mess”!  I’ve never seen a world like this.  I feel like Ernest Hemingway, “people are dying who never died before”.  That quote may seem funny because it is ridiculous but that was Ernest’s truth.  Things were so messy in his world, at the time, that the description, to him, was accurate.  Ernest wanted to fix things, put it back the way it was or make it better.  Ernest failed to acknowledge that he was trying to fix life.  But you can’t fix life.  Life is a mess!

    So how do you stay sane during the mess?  What is the treatment for this type of fatigue? I wish I knew but, like Sway, I don’t have the answers.

    The only real solution is to embrace the mess.  Many have found excitement by attending virtual brunches, sip and paints, meetups, happy hours and dance parties.  Fitness instructors have taken their workouts online.  Families are spending more time together, eating dinner together, talking more, and playing games.  People have found many coping mechanisms but even those mechanisms aren’t hitting like they used to.  So what is the answer?  The answer is pivot.  Find something new that brings you joy.  I have started decorating my house.  I’ve been in this house for almost 8 years but was always on the go.  I never realized how many things I wanted to do in the house until I actually spent more time inside than I did in the streets.  I’m taking my time with decorating, it takes me at least 6 weeks to make up my mind anyway.  Decorating is new to me, it’s exciting.  I realized that was the key to my sanity.  I needed something new and fresh.  Something that would allow me to take my mind off of all that is going on in this world.  That’s how you maintain your sanity.  Escape from the mundane, if even for 30 minutes a day and doing something that is new.  If it’s yoga, meditation, designing, coloring; whatever it is…

    Grab your vision board or make a new one.  Figure out something that you want to go after and do that.  We always say what we would do if we had more time.  Well now is your chance.  You have nothing but time.

     

    Still clinking,

    Tee

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    Divide and Conquer

    The divide and conquer principle has been successfully implemented on our planet and is being used very effectively to keep us under control and in a perpetual state of conflict. ~Michael Tellinger

    It's no secret.  I stand and kneel with Kap!  I haven't watched a NFL game since 2016 and everyone knows I love football.  For me the decision to stop watching was personal and a long time coming.  Along the way I turned a blind eye to things the NFL did that I didn't particularly agree with but chalked it up to "it's just how they do business".  The breaking point for me was the suppression of the players' right to peacefully protest.  When something touches close to home for a person they should be able to voice their frustration in a peaceful, non-violent manner.  I watched the players be told they can't kneel, sit, or stay in the locker room during the national anthem.  WTF!  Are they employed players, indentured servants or slaves?  This whole notion was ludicrous to me.  How far removed were (are) these NFL owners that they can't empathize with the blood of black and brown men, women, boys, and girls being spilled in the streets at the hands of police brutality?

    I couldn't turn a blind eye to the blatant disregard for the lives and deaths of my people so I made a conscious decision to stop watching the NFL.  While I'm just one viewer I hold on to the notion that my vote and voice matters.  However, my decision to stop watching the game was not imposed on my friends.  They are entitled to their own persuasions and convictions.  It in no way caused me to view my friends differently or walk out on our friendship.  Regardless of their stance they are my friends and this very personal decision wasn't about to come between them and me.

    Power of the human spirit: 1, Divide and Conquer: 0

    It was all good about a week ago

    and then entered Jay Z's music and social activism deal with the NFL.

    Within hours of the deal's announcement a line had been drawn in the sand and people felt the need to choose.  TeamKap vs TeamJay.

    I was in complete and utter disbelief.  Not at Jay Z for doing the deal.  Jay Z has to walk his own path and do what he feels convicted to do. My shock came from the way infighting instantly began tearing us apart.  I'm of the mindset even if my friend is dead wrong...I'm not getting at them in public. Now behind closed doors it's on but in front of mixed company I'm not going to let them know I disagree with you.

    I'm also not so keen on the cancel culture.  Don't get me wrong, The Honorable Marcus Mosiah Garvey already said

    Some people deserve to be cancelled but we can't cancel everyone we disagree with.

    With no concrete information on the deal and just a few sound bites here and there the war began.  Team Jay's people cried, "Kap took a settlement and didn't tell us so Jay didn't have to run anything by him".  Team Kap's people screamed, "the NFL is using Jay.  He should've ensured Kap had a job before signing any deals.  He's a sellout"!  The NFL's band of goons hit Jay's "Story of OJ" track, poured cognac in a sniffer, pulled out a cigar, sat back and laughed.

     

    With one deal they were able to avoid accountability on the real issue and turn us against each other.

    Power of the human spirit: 0, Divide and conquer: 109735278941629

    The NFL goons are puppet masters and our inability to see their tactics make us puppets whether we recognize it or not.

    We are losing sight of the mission.  The problem hasn't been resolved.  We aren't yet free.  What we have done is shift our energy inward.  It's ok to disagree with Jay's decision and not speak ill of him.  I'm not a give-him-some-time-to-see-where-this-goes kind of lady.  I'm a the-deal-is-done-how-do-we-move-forward-together type.  How do keep moving the agenda through both men that have the power to make change?

    I pray Kap gets a job back in the NFL. Why?  Because it's what he wants.  It's what he's been groomed for and speaking out against injustices should not have cost him his livelihood.  I also hope Jay-Z is able to make impactful changes for the good of the group working through inside channels.  And I REALLY hope we, as a people, learn to recognize the real enemy and his tactics.  Your brothers and sisters aren't the enemy.  It has to stop being so easy for people to turn us against each other.

    House slave, porch slave, field slave...still slave!

    The fruits of slavery can be seen everywhere and it starts with the mind.

    MAYBE when we catch on to the notion of turning divide and conquer into define and empower.  Maybe then we will be able to flex our unity muscle and incite change.  The Montgomery bus boycotts worked because regardless (I really wanted to write irregardless, not because it's a word but because it grates my nerves when people say it) of the fact that some may have been weary and others may have believed it wouldn't work,  they stuck together.  For 381 days; through 4 seasons and many miles the Blacks in Alabama made up in their minds that to exact change in the policy of racial segregation on the public transit system they had to hit them financially.  The boycott was successful because they were unified in their endeavors.

    Imagine what would happen if we got on one accord!

    Yeah I'm with Kap but I go hard for US!

    What's your stance?  Are you picking sides or choosing US?

    Always Clinking,

    Tee

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    Your future should excite you!

    So I had to drop a post real quick because I am uber excited about my future.   This summer I earned the last degree that I’m going to get.  While most people would’ve taken a year off to rest I couldn’t.   If you didn’t know, I’m an Aquarian. We can’t stop, won’t stop. (insert Diddy bop)

    Since graduating, I began working on two certifications and they both excite me.  I received one this week and my goal is to receive the other before the Christmas holiday.   This chapter of my life will be crowned Passion, meet Purpose.

     

    I can’t wait to share all the details with you but we need to chat first.  I need to know.   Does your future excite you? Are you doing what you love? If not, why? We are always growing,  always evolving and it’s our time now.  We’re getting older.  Everything in our body is changing so why aren’t we following suit? Let’s talk about it.  We are growing up as we glow up so let’s get up and get it! (Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick).

    Always Clinking,

     

    Tee

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    You Can’t Control Where It Lands

    Boy have I missed y’all.  Last week I was sailing the Atlantic Ocean on the UberSoca Cruise.  That cruise was a WHOLE experience.  Maybe one day I’ll give a recap but today we have something else to dive into.  Let’s chat about Intent vs Impact.  Two weeks ago I had a conversation with one of my most treasured humans (for the purposes of this post we will call him Mr. B).  We were talking about the power of words and word choice.  In his rebuttal to me on a topic he said, “you may not like what I have to say but…”

    Yup that was my reaction.  I felt like I was at a dancehall party and I was the selector…(puullllll up).  I needed Mr B to rewind and come again because he was already starting off wrong.  But Mr. B, being Mr. B, proceeded to say exactly what he had to say and in that moment instead of me going straight

    I decided to make it a teachable moment in our relationship.

    Mr. B and I discussed intent versus impact.  Me, in all my knowledge and wisdom, explained a really simple lesson.  Words can’t be controlled once they leave your mouth and while the intent may be good no one cares about intent.  People are concerned with impact.  You can’t correct impact.  All the I’m sorries (not a word) in the world can’t fix impact.  Once those words are out there they are out there and you can’t recall it.  There is no recall button that you can press in Outlook to bring your words back, stuff it back in your brain and never speak on it again.  The receiver of your message has no clue that what you said came from a good place.  The receiver only knows the way in which the message impacted them.  Our words, in essence, become confirmation to the world about the way we see others and the way we see ourselves.

    We not only have to be mindful and thoughtful in our communications, we have to be willing to deal with the impact of our words.  If someone is offended by what we say we have a responsibility to try to make it right.  But in making it right one must understand that it doesn’t mean that the other person will be willing to accept the apology or reconvene the relationship.  Our only defense mechanism to negative impact is checking ourselves at the door.  Before we let these words leave our mouth we must do a once over.  You know what a once over is.  You are getting ready to leave the house, walk out the door but before you do you look in that mirror one more ‘gain.  You make sure the hair is laid just right and outfit is popping.  Then right before you leave the mirror you get in real close and check those teeth.  You make sure not a drop of your pre-game meal is evident.  It is then and only then do you walk out the door.  The once over allows us to be responsible and accountable for our words and then be prepared for the outcome.  If you look in the mirror and you know you look crazy be prepared for the stares and glares.  But also know that even if you thought you were hitting, you may still get a few stares and glares.  See, just like words…we can’t dictate where and how it lands but once it lands we have to own the impact.

    So tell me..do you always think before you speak or are you out here firing off shots all reckless and what not?

    I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    ~Maya Angelou

     

    Always Clinking,

    Tee

    P.S. Despite Mr. B’s IDGAD how-you-take-this attitude that he displayed, we are good.  He lives to disagree with me another day and I live to set him straight. (LOL)

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