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    Divide and Conquer

    The divide and conquer principle has been successfully implemented on our planet and is being used very effectively to keep us under control and in a perpetual state of conflict. ~Michael Tellinger

    It's no secret.  I stand and kneel with Kap!  I haven't watched a NFL game since 2016 and everyone knows I love football.  For me the decision to stop watching was personal and a long time coming.  Along the way I turned a blind eye to things the NFL did that I didn't particularly agree with but chalked it up to "it's just how they do business".  The breaking point for me was the suppression of the players' right to peacefully protest.  When something touches close to home for a person they should be able to voice their frustration in a peaceful, non-violent manner.  I watched the players be told they can't kneel, sit, or stay in the locker room during the national anthem.  WTF!  Are they employed players, indentured servants or slaves?  This whole notion was ludicrous to me.  How far removed were (are) these NFL owners that they can't empathize with the blood of black and brown men, women, boys, and girls being spilled in the streets at the hands of police brutality?

    I couldn't turn a blind eye to the blatant disregard for the lives and deaths of my people so I made a conscious decision to stop watching the NFL.  While I'm just one viewer I hold on to the notion that my vote and voice matters.  However, my decision to stop watching the game was not imposed on my friends.  They are entitled to their own persuasions and convictions.  It in no way caused me to view my friends differently or walk out on our friendship.  Regardless of their stance they are my friends and this very personal decision wasn't about to come between them and me.

    Power of the human spirit: 1, Divide and Conquer: 0

    It was all good about a week ago

    and then entered Jay Z's music and social activism deal with the NFL.

    Within hours of the deal's announcement a line had been drawn in the sand and people felt the need to choose.  TeamKap vs TeamJay.

    I was in complete and utter disbelief.  Not at Jay Z for doing the deal.  Jay Z has to walk his own path and do what he feels convicted to do. My shock came from the way infighting instantly began tearing us apart.  I'm of the mindset even if my friend is dead wrong...I'm not getting at them in public. Now behind closed doors it's on but in front of mixed company I'm not going to let them know I disagree with you.

    I'm also not so keen on the cancel culture.  Don't get me wrong, The Honorable Marcus Mosiah Garvey already said

    Some people deserve to be cancelled but we can't cancel everyone we disagree with.

    With no concrete information on the deal and just a few sound bites here and there the war began.  Team Jay's people cried, "Kap took a settlement and didn't tell us so Jay didn't have to run anything by him".  Team Kap's people screamed, "the NFL is using Jay.  He should've ensured Kap had a job before signing any deals.  He's a sellout"!  The NFL's band of goons hit Jay's "Story of OJ" track, poured cognac in a sniffer, pulled out a cigar, sat back and laughed.


    With one deal they were able to avoid accountability on the real issue and turn us against each other.

    Power of the human spirit: 0, Divide and conquer: 109735278941629

    The NFL goons are puppet masters and our inability to see their tactics make us puppets whether we recognize it or not.

    We are losing sight of the mission.  The problem hasn't been resolved.  We aren't yet free.  What we have done is shift our energy inward.  It's ok to disagree with Jay's decision and not speak ill of him.  I'm not a give-him-some-time-to-see-where-this-goes kind of lady.  I'm a the-deal-is-done-how-do-we-move-forward-together type.  How do keep moving the agenda through both men that have the power to make change?

    I pray Kap gets a job back in the NFL. Why?  Because it's what he wants.  It's what he's been groomed for and speaking out against injustices should not have cost him his livelihood.  I also hope Jay-Z is able to make impactful changes for the good of the group working through inside channels.  And I REALLY hope we, as a people, learn to recognize the real enemy and his tactics.  Your brothers and sisters aren't the enemy.  It has to stop being so easy for people to turn us against each other.

    House slave, porch slave, field slave...still slave!

    The fruits of slavery can be seen everywhere and it starts with the mind.

    MAYBE when we catch on to the notion of turning divide and conquer into define and empower.  Maybe then we will be able to flex our unity muscle and incite change.  The Montgomery bus boycotts worked because regardless (I really wanted to write irregardless, not because it's a word but because it grates my nerves when people say it) of the fact that some may have been weary and others may have believed it wouldn't work,  they stuck together.  For 381 days; through 4 seasons and many miles the Blacks in Alabama made up in their minds that to exact change in the policy of racial segregation on the public transit system they had to hit them financially.  The boycott was successful because they were unified in their endeavors.

    Imagine what would happen if we got on one accord!

    Yeah I'm with Kap but I go hard for US!

    What's your stance?  Are you picking sides or choosing US?

    Always Clinking,


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    Your future should excite you!

    So I had to drop a post real quick because I am uber excited about my future.   This summer I earned the last degree that I’m going to get.  While most people would’ve taken a year off to rest I couldn’t.   If you didn’t know, I’m an Aquarian. We can’t stop, won’t stop. (insert Diddy bop)

    Since graduating, I began working on two certifications and they both excite me.  I received one this week and my goal is to receive the other before the Christmas holiday.   This chapter of my life will be crowned Passion, meet Purpose.


    I can’t wait to share all the details with you but we need to chat first.  I need to know.   Does your future excite you? Are you doing what you love? If not, why? We are always growing,  always evolving and it’s our time now.  We’re getting older.  Everything in our body is changing so why aren’t we following suit? Let’s talk about it.  We are growing up as we glow up so let’s get up and get it! (Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick).

    Always Clinking,



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    You Can’t Control Where It Lands

    Boy have I missed y’all.  Last week I was sailing the Atlantic Ocean on the UberSoca Cruise.  That cruise was a WHOLE experience.  Maybe one day I’ll give a recap but today we have something else to dive into.  Let’s chat about Intent vs Impact.  Two weeks ago I had a conversation with one of my most treasured humans (for the purposes of this post we will call him Mr. B).  We were talking about the power of words and word choice.  In his rebuttal to me on a topic he said, “you may not like what I have to say but…”

    Yup that was my reaction.  I felt like I was at a dancehall party and I was the selector…(puullllll up).  I needed Mr B to rewind and come again because he was already starting off wrong.  But Mr. B, being Mr. B, proceeded to say exactly what he had to say and in that moment instead of me going straight

    I decided to make it a teachable moment in our relationship.

    Mr. B and I discussed intent versus impact.  Me, in all my knowledge and wisdom, explained a really simple lesson.  Words can’t be controlled once they leave your mouth and while the intent may be good no one cares about intent.  People are concerned with impact.  You can’t correct impact.  All the I’m sorries (not a word) in the world can’t fix impact.  Once those words are out there they are out there and you can’t recall it.  There is no recall button that you can press in Outlook to bring your words back, stuff it back in your brain and never speak on it again.  The receiver of your message has no clue that what you said came from a good place.  The receiver only knows the way in which the message impacted them.  Our words, in essence, become confirmation to the world about the way we see others and the way we see ourselves.

    We not only have to be mindful and thoughtful in our communications, we have to be willing to deal with the impact of our words.  If someone is offended by what we say we have a responsibility to try to make it right.  But in making it right one must understand that it doesn’t mean that the other person will be willing to accept the apology or reconvene the relationship.  Our only defense mechanism to negative impact is checking ourselves at the door.  Before we let these words leave our mouth we must do a once over.  You know what a once over is.  You are getting ready to leave the house, walk out the door but before you do you look in that mirror one more ‘gain.  You make sure the hair is laid just right and outfit is popping.  Then right before you leave the mirror you get in real close and check those teeth.  You make sure not a drop of your pre-game meal is evident.  It is then and only then do you walk out the door.  The once over allows us to be responsible and accountable for our words and then be prepared for the outcome.  If you look in the mirror and you know you look crazy be prepared for the stares and glares.  But also know that even if you thought you were hitting, you may still get a few stares and glares.  See, just like words…we can’t dictate where and how it lands but once it lands we have to own the impact.

    So tell you always think before you speak or are you out here firing off shots all reckless and what not?

    I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    ~Maya Angelou


    Always Clinking,


    P.S. Despite Mr. B’s IDGAD how-you-take-this attitude that he displayed, we are good.  He lives to disagree with me another day and I live to set him straight. (LOL)

  • Room at the Table


    It's launch day!  I am so excited and happy you all stopped by.

    I live to quote lines from a movie.  I will replay a movie or search the internet for the script to ensure that I am quoting the line verbatim.  I couldn't think of a better intro than the greeting Bernie Mac gave in The Kings of Comedy.

    Brown remember that breathless pause Sydney had when she realized Dre wasn't really inquiring into when she fell in love with hip hop but rather when she fell in love with him?  That's me!

    You don't remember?  Here you go.

    Tee, when did you fall in love with brunch? *Taye Diggs' voice*

    Truth be told I fell in love when I realized brunch was more than a meal.  My good girlfriends and I would make plans during the week to hit up a brunch spot on Sunday.  The spot would usually include unlimited adult beverages, fried chicken and sometimes booty-shaking music.  When Sunday came we would put on one of our cute outfits, grab our car keys and head to the meetup.  At first brunch was nothing more than a "buppie"  movement, the 21st century "it" thing, but brunch quickly evolved into so much more.

    Brunch became less about the food and more about the fellowship.  Around the table we talked about our wins and losses, joys and pains, school and careers, kids and significant others.  We shared hopes and dreams, laughter and tears, planned business moves and family vacations.  We were still fly, still cute but we had found so much more.  Brunch became to my generation what family dinners around the table were for my parents' generation.

    We all need that space, our "brunch", a place where we can unload and regroup.  Where everyone knows your name and they are always glad you came.  All week long we are all things to all people but when Sunday comes, even if just for a few moments, it will be all about us.

    That's what this blog will be, a virtual brunch.  We'll gather every Sunday and share a topic.  I may host a weekday brunch from time to time if there's a matter that arises that calls for us to gather at the table.  Right here in our sacred space we will form a community.  Don't worry, there will always be room for you at the table.  We will serve up everything and anyone (because sometimes people need to be dragged and read for filth).  I'll sign off of every post by saying "Always Clinking".  The clink is the sound our glasses will make as we toast to us and to life.  It'll be my way of saying peace, much love, forward...always and Ase!

    When did I fall in love with brunch you asked?  When I realized brunch was a part of my lifestyle, my tradition, my culture.

    Comment below and tell me, when did you fall in love with brunch?

    Always Clinking,




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