Once upon a time not long ago I used to LOVE this time of the year.  My house would smell like cinnamon and pine trees.  The house would be decorated with lights, garland and ornaments of all sizes.

Seven years ago everything changed.  My life got flipped turned upside down (See what I did there), and Christmas has never been the same since.  I have a little one (not so little but you get the point) so I push myself each year to make Christmas magical for her when all I really want to do is lay in bed and feel sorry for myself.  However this year I still haven't found my umph.

I am by no means this guy:



What I have realized during this time is that people that have not experienced intimate loss have a hard time understanding why people like me are all Bah Humbug during the most wonderful time of the year.  So I'm here to rescue my wounded and hurting.

It's okay to not feel like throwing confetti during this time of the year.  It's ok that your tree might not be up yet.  Mine went up at 2am this morning and will be down by the 26th.  It's ok if you take the day to practice self care instead of going caroling.

I realized last night that I have to find my own magic during this time.  Luckily I didn't have to look far.  My magic is the amazing miracle of life that I brought into this world.  She's smart, funny, sassy and reminds me of the simplicity of life everyday of the week, not just during Christmas.  She is truly my lifesaver.  Do I have the typical "holiday spirit"? No, but I have a spirit of gratitude.  I am thankful for all that I have and most importantly for the real Reason for the season.

What do you do when you find yourself not feeling the Christmas spirit?  Do you push yourself to join in the festivities or do you succumb to the sadness?  Does it annoy you to no end when people try to push you into going through the motions when they have no idea how hard you're fighting just to stay above water during this time?  Do you have a method to deal with holiday blues? If so, pray tell.

From my grateful heart to yours,


Always Clinking,